Hello, my name is Noah Washington and I am a recovering addict…my addiction? Pleasing People….smh
When people placed expectations on me and would ask me to jump, I would usually respond, how high? Don’t read this and look at me strange because there are many of us who have had to deal with this addiction for many years and has caused us much stress, unhappiness and pain. What caused us to be so people pleasing driven?!!! For many of us its a result of what happened or what didn’t happen in the homes that we grew up in. For countless others it may stem from poor relationships through college and post college years. Whatever the case may be, let me offer some ways that you like me can be a recovering addict of this deadly addiction.
1. Please realize and understand that people will ALWAYS have expectations of you. They will place realistic and unrealistic expectations on you and expect you to deliver and WIN every single time. Understanding this, don’t be surprised when they come because thats is part of life. They are factors that you cannot stop: people and expectations.
2. People who often place expectations on you, do so because they are unsatisfied with their own lives. There are people who will love to places expectations on you because they are so unhappy with how their life is going that they have to look for people whose lives seem to be more fulfilling and more interesting than theirs. They love to critique, examine, and manipulate how you live your life, because they are ashamed about what their life has become. Regardless of how many times you live up to the current expectations, you can NEVER satisfy these people! They are unsatisfiable!!!!! They will always look for things in your life to place expectations on….You can’t win with these type of people.
3. When you give yourself goals to accomplish, you will never be a captive of people pleasing. When you have set goals and are actually accomplishing those goals then it doesn’t matter what people are trying to cause you to do. Regardless of what people see or say, you can sleep at night knowing that through the power of God you are setting goals and accomplishing those goals. Accomplishing goals is one way to silence the “peanut gallery” into making you do things.
4. Every good thing isn’t a God thing. Just because you are busy doing doesn’t mean you are busy in purpose. People would love to see you running around busy accomplishing what they set out for you to do. Before you move forward and get busy doing, you have to ask a critical question: IS GOD LEADING THIS?!!! If God isn’t leading, and you move forward, its a sure way to continue pleasing people.
I sure hope these help you, because they have sure helped me not to be stressed, saddened, and sold out to people’s expectations of me! God bless you as you too can become more than a conqueror!!!